Sunday, August 2, 2015

Life Lately : From being lost to a little bit lost

 Happy Monday, everyone! I know a lot of people hate mondays, I am also guilty for having this same feeling before. More than anything, I think it's because it would mean the end of a chill weekend, and  getting back to work or normal programming. I am honestly liking mondays better now, since I am not employed right now or anything, I just enjoy another start to a week. But a part of me also gets scared since time is passing by so fast, and I really need to get my life back on track.

Anyway, I figured to make much of an effort to connect more on my blog, and try my best to update this regularly. When this year started, I really battled with a lot of "what ifs," and it can be such a pain sometimes, since I have a tendency to over think things. However, when I started to pursue little steps towards improving or doing something while I still feel so lost, I started feeling much better. For one, I have decided to pursue graduate studies this year! Classes start late this month, and I'm so scared, but I feel like this will help me gain direction in my life hehe. When I graduated, I was really keen on getting a nice job, and pursuing my masters after a few years instead…then life happened! It brought me to a different direction, reminding me that sometimes, we are not always in control of what happens and we just have to let it go (thinking about Frozen right now).

Other than that, I've decided to apply for the civil service examination this coming October. I've always had a slight interest in working for a government office, so *IF I DO PASS*,  it is a possibility that I could take on. I just checked my Timehop few days ago, then I saw a tweet from my self years ago, ranting about how I wished I took the civil service exam! Well,  that was a year ago.  A decision that was year in the making, brought by my laziness and indecision at that time. :(( Hay naku!

I really wish I would make more of this little steps because it is really better to start on something you really want to do, and stop making excuses for it not to happen. I am so guilty of doing this time after time, and it is something I am  constantly trying to work on. A part of me wishes that I could be proactive as much as possible, but a part of me just wants to take my time and not pressure myself so much. But, at the back of my mind, I do hope that what I'm about to do would really help me give a clearer picture on what I should be doing. Must not be afraid to try and try new things that would help my still-a-little-bit-lost self. :)


Much love,
Nikki

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